Are you a Worrier? Join the CIA, like I did!

January 16, 2017, by , Posted in Blog, 0 Comment

Are you a Worrier? Join the CIA, like I did!

I always wanted to be a spy and if I’m honest with myself, I still do. Just take a look at my ‘James Bond’ style logo on www.richardtyler.co.uk, it’s a symbol to remind myself that I learnt all of my skills when I joined the CIA.

The biggest skill being, how to overcome worry & doubt.

So last week when running a webinar for a group of global leaders that was designed to get them in gear to nail 2017, I was slightly taken back by one of the delegates. It was a whizzy hour and we dived around all over the place, so that they could get what they needed. However, at the close, someone asked me the question of, “I believe it is useful for a leader to spend time worrying, what’s your view on this?” We unpicked it a bit more and it seems that there was a general sense coming my way that worrying was a good habit to have.

So, what’s your view? Is worrying helpful or not? Is it something you need to sharpen up your skills on? A course maybe? A book? How much time do you invest engaged in really high-quality worrying?!

Here’s my take, the ROI on worrying is fuck all. Show me one person in life that has made a success out of worrying. Just one. Nope? Thought so. No one.

The problem arises when you visit the land of worry and then decide to take up residence there; good schools, nice people, comfortable, easier to stay here than move. Jeez. That’s insanity. Go there on a day trip if you must but get the hell out as quickly as you can. Do I worry? Sure I do. I get troubled by something and it plays on my mind for as long as I allow it. I’ll say that bit again in case it didn’t register….for as long as I allow it. Not for as long as you allow it or the other person allows it or the planet allows it. No, I choose.

When you use worrying well, it serves a purpose. It forces me to check in with myself, the situation and my outcome. It is my internal nudge. It is the cue that I need to pay attention, make a decision and then take action. Attempting to eradicate all worrying is frankly pointless. Worry when you need to, just do it artfully.

So, how do you move on from the stickiness of worrying? Simple, do what I did & join the CIA. Unfortunately I haven’t become a spy but instead by using Control, Influence & Accept (CIA)… I am a worry free individual!

When you notice that you have arrived in worry land (typical signs being a noisy mind, lack of focus, distracted, internal rather than external perspective, clammy hands, raised heartbeat etc) take a moment to work through the following 3 steps:

Control

Do you have control over the situation and the thing that has caused you to worry? By choosing to think and act differently, can you shift the outcome? If it’s all down to you, right now, then take the first step of action. So often people spend countless hours worrying over something that they have zero control over. Don’t do it. It’s dead time and energy

Influence

You do not control actions of others. You do not control their mind, their feelings and their reactions. You do control your car as you drive it. You do control your home and the people that you choose to engage with. You also control your mind, your thoughts, your feelings, your reactions and your behaviours.

So if you don’t control it, what influence do you have over it? Choose to behave differently and you give others the choice to adapt themselves.

Accept

The reality is that there is an enormous amount of stuff in the world that you need to learn to accept and move on from. Giving energy and time to something that you cannot control or influence is a crappy idea. Trust me. I’ve done it. Accept that you cannot change it and work out what you need to do to move on. Trust that the universe will make it right and then let go….

Becoming a member of the CIA is my recommendation. Learn to use worry well. Learn to dance with it. It is there to provoke you so listen to the messages wrapped up in it and then decide on the best solution to move on.

Right, I need to go undercover. I’m on a mission. Keep it secret though please. The name’s Tyler, Richard Tyler….

About Richard Tyler

Richard is an extraordinary Business Speaker, Motivational Speaker and Facilitator. Richard has successfully combined two areas of expertise: The art of performance and behavioural psychology. He originally trained at Guildford School of Acting in Musical Theatre and has performed in many lead roles, such as Raoul in Phantom of the Opera. Circle him on Google Plus!

Leave a Comment